Well let's just say that the last couple of weeks have been rather difficult for me. We are in the hurry up and wait state and because I do better with having "something" to do, having nothing to do and just sitting here waiting has definitely given our enemy room to invade my thoughts and cast doubt and fear into our journey of adoption. BUT, God is good and has definitely spoken to my heart and showed me once again that HE is in control! My devotion's this morning cut to my core like a hot knife through butter. OUCH!
Since making our decision to adopt I have often questioned God’s timing and His ways. When they don’t translate into methods that I can understand, I surrender my faith to the tyranny of fear. I ask myself why I struggle be a fully devoted follower of Christ and be willing to forsake the known for the unknown. Why can't I choose to trust God and walk by faith – not by sight or human logic. Isn't that the verse I chose to center our adoption journey on?! But as I was so mercifully reminded today when it speaks in Matthew 14 of the disciples being in a boat caught in a storm and full of fear. The response of Jesus to the disciples’ fear was encouragement and a call to step out in faith and obedience. The only taker was Peter!
The following is taken from my devotion -
Faith demands a willingness to give up what we can see in exchange for what we cannot see. “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1 NKJV). This verse indicates a persuasion or conviction in response to unseen evidence. But just because we can’t see it, does not mean it isn’t there.
As a fisherman, Peter knew all about boats and storms. However, I feel safe in saying that Peter had probably never tried walking on any kind of water, much less tempestuous water. It didn’t matter. Jesus said, “Come.” Jesus wrapped a world of truth in that one word. Strength for every trial, faith for every storm, courage for every conflict, the promise of His presence and absolutely everything we need to obey is promised to those who are willing to leave the safety of the boat and "come" to Jesus. God never forces us into obedience. He invites us to obey and leaves the choice to us.
Peter chose obedience when he slipped off his sandals, hitched up his robe and climbed over the side of that boat. Peter left the “known” behind and stepped through his fear in a radical faith that pleased God. Peter then did what we all have done at some point in life. He took his eyes off Jesus. And when he began to sink, Peter cried out in fear. I love the fact that Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed the flailing hand of Peter. I would probably have let the doubting disciple sink like a stone to teach him a lesson. Not Jesus. Grace covered it all – the storm, the sin and Peter’s plea for rescue. Love heard Peter’s cry. Mercy saved him.
So I have to ask myself am I willing to take one step of faith and allow God to meet me there? The answer is absolutely "yes"! Why? because I know my God is faithful; He knows what is best for me; and, HE is in control.
So I would please ask that you pray for not only me, but also our family that I/we can continue to cling to Jesus and walk by faith! I would also ask that you specifically pray that Jason and I will clearly see God's direction with regard to leading us to a waiting child/children or waiting for a referral. Pray that our hearts would be fully open to what God has designed for our family because it might just look different than we think.
Psalm 56:3 “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”
John 14:27
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
Peace is not the absence of conflict, a lack of trouble or scarcity of problems. Peace is not a feeling. Peace is a Person – Jesus – and when we know Him, we can experience true peace.
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